God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
