the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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