That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
