My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
