the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
