Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
