I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
