Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
