I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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