the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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