Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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