try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
