Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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