I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
