so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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