You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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