I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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