at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
