You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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