I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize