Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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