Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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