I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
