i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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