I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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