i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
