thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
