i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
