I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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