I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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