So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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