porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
