so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
