I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize