So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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