brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
