Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
