Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
