do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
