all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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