She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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