She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The air was thick with penises
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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