I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
