i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
