Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
