I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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