guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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