I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
