Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study