I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dating After Heartbreak
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.