3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
don't judge my taste in strippers
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
