please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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