Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
