I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
