So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize