two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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