doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
