You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
