he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
