I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
