I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
