would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
